As the moments crawl by I can see grains of sand slipping through the neck of an hour glass, and although part of me feels like I am wasting these grains of my life another part of me feels okay with that. It is kind of nice to witness time moving so slowly when usually it feels like the months are flying by. It's nice to crawl through a day. To fully feel every second that makes up a minute. To feel the length of an hour as I felt it when I was a child. Back then an hour was infinite. It's so peculiar that the passing of time can feel so different in childhood and adulthood. At what moment did that change occur? When did an hour become an hour and when did an hour start to feel more like a second? But perhaps these things don't matter really. Seconds, minutes, hours, these measurements are so empty. One doesn't remember every second of their life or even every day. One captures moments which may have lasted minutes or days in memories which are devoid of time, in which measurements of time are meaningless.
Early next week an email should arrive in my inbox, an email that will act as a catalyst. Once I receive the email my life will pick up momentum one way or another, but for now I putter around in the present and use expectation to feebly grasp at the future. In this state all I can do is wait, and during this waiting period I feel like cutting myself off from everything. I don't want to talk to people when I am wrapped in uncertainty. My mind is so heavily focused on this one thing that I can't bring myself to focus on anything else. Except cookies. I can almost always find the focus and motivation to combine science, creativity, and food in the comforting art of baking.
Happy Daylight Savings Time!
